Kids thrive on ‘sittervising’ instead of constant parental involvement, experts say

The concept of « sittervising » – allowing children to play with each other, without direct parental intervention – is beneficial for both child and parent, according to several parenting experts.

The term « sittervising » was popularized in an August 10, 2022 blog post by Seattle mom Susie Allison titled « Why You’ll Find Me Sittervising ». Still, people have been using it on TikTok and other social media platforms since at least early 2021, an internet search for the term reveals.

« Sittervising means supervising children while seated, » Susie Allison wrote on Busy Toddler, her personal blog.

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Allison describes herself as a « former teacher with a master’s [degree] in early childhood education and a mother of three » and said she’s been using the term « sittervising » for years.

« Members of my community are thrilled to see surveillance growing, and the response has been positive, » she told Fox News Digital via email.

Noting that childcare has benefits for both the child and the parent because « parents can’t spend 100% of their time playing with children, » she said parents « have to ‘other jobs to be done, whether it’s a job outside the house, inside the house or to keep the house running.’

« As far as I’m concerned, it’s boring to always play with your kids. Let’s be honest, » said Lenore Skenazy of Let Grow in New York.

She added: « When parents devote all their time to facilitating children’s play, they do so at the expense of their other work. Parents are then forced to put in a day’s work once the children have gone to bed. This leads to parental burnout, guilt and stress. »

The « seismic shift » in attitudes toward parenthood was evident in the late 1990s, Allison said. This decade has seen « parents devoting more time, money and resources to raising their children in ways not seen by previous generations, » she said.

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Social media, she said, has turned parenting into something that is « pinnable » and « postable, » with parents becoming competitive by comparing themselves to other parents and how they were raising their children.

Adults, by interfering with children’s play, can alter children’s plans and directions with the aim of satisfying all players, blogger Susie Allison has suggested.
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“Somehow the idea that raising children requires parents to facilitate all aspects of the child’s life – including their play – has become the norm,” she said.

Allison added that in trying « to be the best and most present parenting generation » we have accidentally « changed the fundamentals of how children learn and develop, and added untold amounts of pressure and stress on our own parenthood ».

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Lenore Skenazy, president of Let Grow, a non-profit organization that promotes child independence, is also the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement. She was completely on board with Allison’s sentiment and the concept of « sittervising ».

“Helicopter parenting” — the conceptual opposite of childcare — is “exhausting,” New York’s Skenazy told Fox News Digital in an interview.

Let Grow president Lenore Skenazy says helicopter parenting « accidentally caught on », but she doesn’t think parents really appreciate it.
(Lenore Skenazy)

« [Helicopter parenting] is one of those things that accidentally spread. I don’t think anyone likes to do that, » she said.

« As far as I’m concerned, it’s boring to always play with your kids. Let’s be honest. »

Skenazy said the idea of ​​parents « crawling on the ground » and playing with their children is unheard of in many foreign countries.

« When I was raising kids, we prided ourselves on our children’s independence and ability to navigate their world, » one Baltimore grandmother said.

« And in our culture, it started to normalize, and then it became that parents would worry if they didn’t do those things — if they were good enough parents, » she said.

Taking risks and being left alone were considered normal parts of childhood until very recently, Skenazy explained. In his experience, the parents themselves seem to have forgotten this.

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« I always ask most parents to think back to something they loved doing when they were kids, » she said, referring to some of the talks and presentations she gives to groups.

She said she then asks people to raise their hands when they think of what they like.

We accidentally « changed the fundamentals of how children learn and develop, and [have] has added untold amounts of pressure and stress to our own parenting, » blogger mom Susie Allison said.
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« And then I ask, ‘OK, was your mom right there? And if I do it with a conference, everyone lowers their hand, » she continued.

With child care normalizing today, Skenazy said she hopes parents realize they’re not hurting their children if they back down a bit.

« Your child will be fine, » she said.

« I think parents might need to be reassured, » she added, that they are not « traumatizing » their children by raising them in this way.

A grandmother from the greater Baltimore area told Fox News Digital that in her day, what is now called « sittervising » was the « strong and confident » way to raise children.

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« Back when I was raising kids, we prided ourselves on our children’s independence and their ability to navigate their world, » she said.

« Now I think parents pride themselves on their ‘closeness’ to their kids, but I think it’s more about controlling their kids, » she also said.

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“Good parenting often means removing themselves from the equation and believing they can find their way on their own.”