I couldn’t walk a woman’s dog, she sent me nasty emails
DEAR ABBY: I have been interested in a woman for several years. During that time, I dated her and helped her with her house. Today she called me and asked me to walk her dog. I had to refuse because I couldn’t integrate it. She sent me two emails, one after the other:
« Thank you, Fred, but one thing I know for sure – anyone who’s not a friend of my dog is not my friend. Where’s your Christian service now? I don’t want you watching my dog or me! You you’re a selfish guy who couldn’t take a five minute drive on a 60 degree day, and i hope i never hear from you again. wish you all the best. enjoy sitting around taking care of yourself , of yourself. Goodbye. »
And, “A real friend would check my dog and lock all the doors afterwards, so don’t come near my house or apartment. You’re not a guy I want to be with. You think you are better than you are.
What should I do and how should I take this? — CONFUSED IN COLORADO
DEAR CONFUSED: ‘Cause that’s how your self-absorbed friend reacted when you told her you couldn’t come when she was whistling, too bad – for your good – she didn’t say so years ago . What you should do now is take his emails to heart. Follow her instructions to the letter and don’t let her hear about you again. This is bad news, and you can do better. Much better.
DEAR ABBY: My wife died over a year ago and I see a lady whose husband died five years ago. « Helen » had been dating her boyfriend, « Harry », for two years, but he recently developed cancer and passed away.
We got closer, but I have a problem. When we are in a romantic situation, Helen will call me « Harry ». When that happens, it’s upsetting and I get defensive. I really have a hard time accepting being called the name of her last boyfriend. Sometimes I think I should walk away. What should I do? — MISIDENTIFIED IN FLORIDA
DEAR MISIDENTIFIED: If you care about Helen, acknowledge that she spent two years with dear Harry, and stop taking it personally if she slips up and calls you by name once in a while. This is normal, and over time it will go away.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 65 year old male and recently went out of town on business with a 28 year old colleague. Throughout dinner, he kept looking for stuff and answering texts on his cell phone. He only spoke to me a few times. When I tried to engage him in conversation he would answer and then go back to his phone.
I found his behavior rude and insulting. I understand the importance of phones. If he received an important call or a call from his wife during dinner and spoke for a short while, that would be fine. But when people stay glued to their phones throughout dinner and the evening, I think that’s rude. What is the protocol for these types of situations? — HANG UP IN ALABAMA
DEAR HANG UP: Proper protocol is to store the cell phone or at least face down on the table during dinner. By failing to do so, your colleague sent you the unequivocal message that he was not interested in anything you might have wanted to discuss with him. Unless he was very late responding to his work emails, I agree his behavior was just plain rude.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.