How to Create Better Habits Without Relying on Discipline

Many people think that if they are determined enough – if they really put in the effort – they will be able to create better habits.

These people are missing an important piece of the self-control puzzle, according to James Clear, author of the New York Times bestseller “Atomic Habits.” Even if you’re disciplined, you’ll likely need to place yourself in environments that allow you to stay that way, without distractions or opportunities to indulge in your ongoing habits, Clear told “The Mel Robbins Podcast” in a Jan. 8 episode.

“When you look at people who demonstrate high levels of self-control, the common pattern among them is not that they have higher than average discipline,” he said. “The common pattern is that they find themselves in situations where they are tempted less frequently.”

If you avoid alcohol during your first Dry January, for example, you may not want to go to happy hour with your friends, where outside pressures or fear of missing out could influence you. The goal is to stay away from temptation, not to resist it.

“You don’t need to try to be more disciplined. You don’t need to wish you were a person with more willpower,” Clear said. “You need to take some time to design an environment where you won’t be tempted as often…That could mean simple things like not having chips in the house or not having cigarettes in the house or things like that.”

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Your environment can include the people around you: staying in the company of like-minded people can help you stay focused, according to some studies. If you and your friends are regularly in situations that prevent you from developing the habit you want, you may want to talk transparently with them about your goals or find other ways to spend time with them, Clear recommended.

“And that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll never see these people again, but maybe I only see them in pockets or in certain situations,” Clear said. “And then other people who I try to expose myself to more and spend time with more.”

You might be inclined to tell yourself that if you’re going wrong in your quest for better habits, you should just stop trying altogether. Instead, flip your self-talk to be more optimistic, Clear advised. Tell yourself that your efforts today will pay off down the line, for example, or that you will be able to stay the course even if you make a mistake.

A positive attitude can also help you better manage stress related to changes in lifestyle and habits, according to a 2023 report from the Mayo Clinic. “A bad attitude and self-pity make every problem more difficult,” Clear said. “And so you’re just adding another challenge to an already difficult situation. It’s just not serving you.”

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