Greg Gutfeld: President Biden is in big trouble, the Democratic Party wants to “let him down”
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Happy Wednesday everyone. President Biden is therefore in great difficulty. The White House reports that he tested negative for COVID, proving that even the virus wants someone else. And according to a new CNN poll, more than three-quarters of respondents don’t want him to run for president, they want him to run for the hills. The poll comes as her approval ratings plunge like Nancy Pelosi’s cleavage.
And most Americans are as sick of the economy as they are of Nancy Pelosi’s cleavage. Of course there is no recession, they say, as they try to redefine the term recession, the way they have redefined riots, women, crime and basic biology. We’d say lying sucks, but we don’t want to confuse it.
It’s going so badly, Mayor Pete votes better than Joe and Pete actually did less work than Kamala did to close the border. Pete is now on his 10th month of parental leave and will be ready to work full time once he stops breastfeeding. But I get it, Joe doesn’t look good, literally or figuratively. The only thing holding it together are the hair clogs, and you can see why. Here’s a 22nd clip of Biden from the White House, look how edited it was.
WHITE HOUSE VIDEO
They spent more time editing that 20-second clip than Coppola did The Godfather, both one and two. But at least when Dr. Frankenstein put his monster back together, he put in a brain. I mean, if you have to do that much surgery for 20 seconds of tape. It’s like starting with a six-ton piece of marble and ending up with a bowling trophy. This is the scariest presidential clip since The Zapruder movie. Oh! Did that upset you? I am sorry. And take a look at this comparison, appearing on Twitter where I get all my searches. Hey, that works for the Washington Post. It shows two different Bidens, seemingly 24 hours apart.
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Wow. What the hell is happening? I mean, it’s the same guy. I mean, yet they’re as different as the night and a toilet seat. One minute he’s fine, the next he has to…as you’d expect from a POW video. They should hand him a copy of USA Today, so we have proof of life. What’s going on, Joe?
JOE BIDEN SKIRT
Well, no wonder, no wonder the Dems want to ditch Joe faster than a rough-handed, monkey-pox masseuse. The guy deteriorates faster than Joy Behar’s mood when she’s out of pie. Maybe it’s COVID that’s bothering Joe, but it’s not like we’re lucky enough to have a fit specimen. The guy started out bad, now he’s worse. I mean, even his body double looks exhausted. I hope for the good of America and the planet, that he is well. Because if it’s not, that’s what we got.
YOUTUBE CLIP « THE ELLEN SHOW »
Yeah. It sucks. Yeah, it seems the press seems even more engrossed in the past, i.e. Donald Trump, and I get it. It’s the old « hey, don’t look there, look this way » thing. But at least Trump can finish his sentences, has ideas about crime and homelessness, and isn’t chained to a radiator somewhere in the West Wing while being force-fed oatmeal. You know, I wonder what Trump would do if he coached a women’s basketball team? Would he lose a day?
TRUMP CLIPS COMPILATION
Yeah, good to see he hasn’t changed. He still has the subtlety and restraint you expect from a man whose name is on buildings, golf courses and steaks. You know, any steak with Biden’s name on it would be mashed into a squeeze tube.
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But Democrats need help, don’t they? Maybe they’re not looking hard enough, but, you know, I think I can help. I think I have their candidate. This guy, John Hinckley. Yeah, he’s out of jail now, and here’s what he just tweeted: « I believe in peace, love, fairness, LGBTQ rights, abortion rights, animal rights , mixing races, banning assault weapons, sharing the wealth, the Green New Deal, Black Lives Matter, prison reform and good rock ‘n’ roll. Join the John Hinckley community. »
Yes, it is located at the corner of —-Crazy Boulevard and A-hole Avenue. But damn, he’s crazier now than when he shot Reagan. Meaning? He looks like the perfect woke democrat. Are you sure that’s not AOC in a fat man suit? He ticked all the boxes, though, oddly enough, he forgot the handguns. Hmm. But I guess they had to have CNN on the prison TV, because it doesn’t sound any different from Don Lemon. And that’s CNN’s ratings strategy, show them where you can’t switch channels. Talk about cruel and unusual punishments. It’s like telling a death row inmate to share his last meal with Brian Stelter.
But this loser illustrates a vital point these days. You want the press and the libs to like you towing the wake line and everyone can do it. Even a failed assassin with an acoustic guitar and a face like a lumpy potato. Hinckley is living her best life. But I don’t want to be there when he finds out that Jodie Foster is gay. So there you have it, Democrats. You wanted a big name. You got one, a celebrity who appeals to all your little identity cults, and he can sing
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Yeah. It’s not Cat Stevens, closer to cat food, but it sure beats that.
And let’s not forget, this guy is.
It is a reference. So what do you say, Democrats? Hinckley 2024. It can’t be worse than what you have. His campaign slogan might be, « give me a chance. I might blow your mind. »