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Cost of living crisis?  Here’s how to spend all that extra cash you have – POLITICO

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly comedy column.

As a fully fledged member of the metropolitan liberal elite, I often sat around the villa sipping a glass of Veuve Clicquot, deciding what to do with all the money that burned a hole in my pocket and wondering what all this cost of living crisis talk is all about.

If you’re in the same situation, let’s look at some ways to spend your money, much like the FT’s ‘How to Spend It’ supplement, but with fewer Bugattis and yachts and more jokes. (“How to Spend It” might have noticed, wealthier readers, has been renamed HTSI – and if you have HTSI, I recommend a visit to a clinic for a soothing balm).

Either way, there are plenty of ways to spend your money if you really want to. One, uh, lucky one donated £120,000 to the British Conservative Party this week to go to dinner with Boris Johnson and his two predecessors, Theresa May and David Cameron.

The punishment – ​​sorry, the price – was auctioned off at a Tory chic party at the V&A museum in London. This dinner could be awkward for a variety of reasons, mainly because Johnson and Cameron have clashed on several occasions and Johnson (metaphorically) stabbed May in the front when she was prime minister.

Sure, £120,000 is a drop in the ocean when it comes to giving money to political parties or election candidates. In the United States last month, Democrat supporter Sam Bankman-Fried said he could spend $1 billion or more on the 2024 election, which would make him the biggest political donor on record in a single US election. Although Bankman-Fried made his money in cryptocurrency, he might want to wait to write checks in case it’s worth it. $1.28 by then.

Another way to spend all that extra cash is to delve into the real estate market. As revealed by POLITICO, the diplomatic arm of the EU is planning to buy a mansion in New York for more than 20 million euros.

Perhaps the most striking thing about the recently renovated Upper East Side house, which is said to be the base of the head of the EU delegation to the United Nations in New York, is the purple and brown Union Jack carpet into a room. However, there is also a sign in this room that reads ‘Dead end’, which begs the question: is this a Brexit-themed room? Has a framed blue passport just rolled out of the field? And on a coffee table nearby, is there a hardcover (and unread) version of the Withdrawal Agreement?


“Seriously! We agreed to wear all the colors of Ukraine. Now I look stupid.

Can you do better? E-mail [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque

Last week, we gave you this picture:

Cost of living crisis?  Here’s how to spend all that extra cash you have – POLITICO

Thanks for all the entries. Here’s the best of our mailbag – there’s no price other than the gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is far more valuable than money or booze.

“He holds the world with his hands! What a coincidence!” by Giovanni Cellini.

Paul Dalison is POLITICS‘s publisher of slot machine news.